The Pen Is Mightier Than The Hammer
by Nikkette
Summary: When Tony 'educates' Thor on some of Earth's customs, the God of Thunder decides to use his newfound street smarts to save Pepper from herself. More specifically, her pen. PepperxThor/SpiceHammer, but very lightly. Could easily be construed as friendship.


**A/N: I wasn't going to post this until my PepperxLoki fic was finished, but a Guest reviewer wanted to see it and it's fairly short, so I thought, why not?**

**This is meant to be very fluffy and very funny. In fact, it could just be a friendship fic if you wanted, but for my intents and purposes it's meant to be construed as romantic.**

**This is a oneshot, but I may continue if enough people want me to. You'll have to let me know on that one. Otherwise, I'm just gonna keep it the way it is, with maybe a few other separate SpiceHammer fics. Idk yet.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Avengers.**

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The Pen Is Mightier Than The Hammer~

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Pepper Potts sat in her office, working on Tony's business schedule for the next month.

It was nothing new, but for some reason she was especially irritated by the menial task.

She forcefully scribbled down dates and times and summaries for the specified day, growing angrier by the minute at the fact that Tony probably wouldn't attend half of them anyway, and that all of her time and effort that was currently going into her neatly arranged schedule was more than likely going to waste. But just as she was thinking about calling it quits, Thor walked in.

She looked up.

"Thor, hello!" She greeted cheerily, feeling as though a weight had been temporarily lifted from her shoulders from his presence.

"Lady Pepper," the Asgardian greeted stiffly, keeping his distance.

Pepper knit her brows together, noticing his strange shift in demeanor.

"Is...something wrong?" She asked, half expecting Tony or Bruce to come running through the door with news of the next Apocalypse.

Thor lightly shook his head. "No. Not at all, Lady Pepper."

"Oh," she said lightly, relieved that nothing was in utter chaos at the moment.

Thor continued to stand awkwardly by the door, and Pepper reluctantly went back to her current dilemma. It was strangely silent, almost tense and downright awkward on Thor's part, but she paid it no mind as she continued to scrawl on Tony's business calendar.

...

...

...

"Oh, shoot."

Pepper frowned as her pen ran out of ink, leaving a rather long word unfinished. She shook it a few times to try and get it to work, even breathing on the nib to try and re-wet the dried up ink, before ultimately giving up.

Grunting in frustration, she clicked the now useless pen and tossed it to the floor beside her.

And that's when Thor sprang into action.

"Lady Pepper, NO!"

Pepper barely had time to widen her eyes as Thor dove towards her, tucking and rolling to land beside her desk and fumbling to catch the object that she had so readily thrown away, sighing in relief as it fell into his large hands just before hitting the floor.

He handed the pen back to her.

"Thor, what are you-"

"Sir Stark informed me of the importance of the Earthen pen. I _cannot_ allow you to lose it."

"Um...why?"

"Because, Lady Pepper; if you lose your pen you cannot write. If you cannot write you cannot do your work. If you cannot work you cannot earn wages. If you cannot earn wages you cannot eat. If you cannot eat you will starve, and if you starve you shall die! I do not wish for you to die, Lady Pepper."

Pepper stared at him in shock, and if it wasn't for the concerned, honest to goodness look he was giving her, she probably would have laughed. Instead, she got angry.

"...And _Tony_ told you this?"

The God of Thunder blinked repeatedly, brows coming together in slight confusion.

"...Y- yes. Is there a problem?"

She pursed her lips together, forcefully placing an elbow on her desk and letting out an angry nostril flare.

"I'm gonna _kill_ him..." she mumbled under her breath.

Thor shifted his position to kneel beside her.

"Lady Pepper?" He asked, concern clear in his eyes.

Upon meeting his tender gaze Pepper let out a sigh, visibly softening her hard expression.

She smiled.

Thor rested his hand atop hers, and spoke again. "Have...I done something wrong?"

Pepper's eyebrows lifted in response, and she breathed out a laugh, bringing her free hand to cover his.

"Oh, of course not! _No!_ No, it's- it's not you. I just have to go deal with _Tony_ to clear something up, that's all."

She moved to get out of her chair, only to have Thor more insistently keep her seated.

"If you are going to punish him for sharing Earth's secrets with me, please; bring your wrath upon me..._I_ am the outsider."

Despite how serious and grave he was about the situation, Pepper could no longer contain herself, and she let out a long, hearty chuckle.

"Oh, honey, you don't have to worry about that! I'm not going to-"

Seeing his unconvinced expression, she tried rephrasing. "Look; I want you to stay right here. And when I get back, I'll teach you how to work the oven. Okay?"

His eyes lit up, much like a Christmas tree - which he had no knowledge about - and he nodded vigorously at her proposal.

"Yes, Lady Pepper! I shall await your return!"

Pepper smiled again, wider this time, and couldn't help grabbing a fist full of his blond locks and placing an affectionate kiss on his forehead.

"Great!" She said enthusiastically, getting up from her spot.

She stood up and Thor did as well, taking a step back and watching as she dusted herself off.

"Okay," she said, straightening her back and nodding to the God of Thunder.

"Now; if you'll excuse me, _I_ have to go kill Tony."

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**A/N: Well, there it is. I hope you liked it. Tony's rotten, isn't he? :P**

**I find it funny and amusing how blissfully ignorant Loki and Thor are to Earth and its customs, and I think a strong, commanding woman like Pepper would be the perfect person to educate them.**

**I got the idea for the oven from another Avengers fanfic, so my hat tips to The Once Caged Bird for their hilariously written story: Tunes. You should definitely check it out.**

**Oh, and this whole thing stemmed from that ever popular If You Lose Your Pen You Die meme. JUST so you know.**

**Like I said before I WILL continue this, but only if I am asked to. This was meant to be a oneshot, after all, but if you think I should continue it then please don't hesitate to leave a review saying so :)**

**Anyway, thanks for:**

**1. Looking**

**2. Faving**

**3. Following**

**4. Reading**

**5. Reviewing**

**7. Checking this out**

**8. Not checking this out and accidentally clicking**

**9. Not even knowing this story exists and messing around in another tab**

**10. And...ten XD**


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